Sunday, March 21, 2010

Update 3/21/10 18 weeks since crash

Dear friends,

18 weeks ago, normal came crashing down with the sounds of a medevac helicopter on the roof of Albany Med, and an army of loving people praying in the ER waiting room (and in places near and far) for the lives of my husband and daughter. It still seems like something I read in a book, and not something that actually happened. But my memory is filled with beautiful vignettes: police, emergency rescue folks, and medical personnel working feverishly to keep my family alive, person after person sitting with Hannah as she emerged from the early stages of brain injury, mountains of food brought to the Ronald McDonald room on the 7th floor of the E building at Albany Med, phone calls, emails, cards, money, errands, chores- every time I turned around someone was waiting to help. Those are memories I will forever cherish. It's hard to even put into words, actually, the feelings that arise within me when I recall the everlasting arms of God around me through the whole experience. And the compassionate working hands of incredibly kind people... Normal became different, and it's about to change again. It keeps doing that! And the Great One continues to show us how to make like a tree in the wind. And bend.

Tomorrow Smitty goes to work at his new office for the first time. As you know, he's been working for this new company from home since January. Now he goes in and meets lots of new people, sets up his office and dives in. Please pray for him! The new job thing is enough for anyone to manage, never mind with a recovery still ongoing. We are so very blessed by the new firm he is working for! They have been understanding of his limitations, and they are looking forward to working with him. I know they will love him. He's a hard working man, and his attitude is excellent. I'm so glad for this slice of normal for him. He'll only be working 3 days a week for now. And though I'm glad he's out and about, I will truly miss him. I'll adjust to my new normal (again!), and it will be alright. I'm a little worried about his endurance, and not being there in case he needs anything. But the Great One is with him. And we had to get our feet wet sooner or later. We'll bend.

I just read a school project Hannah completed called "Life's Little Instruction Book". She had to explain the meaning of many "sayings" from the book "To Kill a Mockingbird", but she also had to include family sayings. I cried reading the things she recalls and what they have meant to her. It was like a salve to my soul to read a couple of her comments. What a kid! I will love her through this whole thing, no matter how long it takes! I will always recall the promise of God to me:

"Do not be afraid, O Jacob my servant,
Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
For I will pour water on the thirsty land ,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
like poplar trees by flowing streams.
One will say, "I belong to the Lord;
another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
still another will write on his hand "The Lord's",
and will take the name Israel.
Isaiah 44:2-5

All the changes in the world can't disturb the unchangeable word of the Living God. He remains rock solid while our boats are rocked. The name Israel means "struggled with God and man and prevailed". He's not shocked or shaken by our instability or uncertainty. He's always "steady on", holding out the life raft, calling us in to the place where no outward circumstance can shatter our faith. If there's anyone who needs His gracious anchoring, it's me. If there's anyone who's struggled with God and man, it's me. He's come to my rescue so many times, I've lost count. I'm more grateful than I can say. I've been blown by a mighty wind, but I didn't snap! The Great One held on tight and said, "just bend". Listen, there are folks who have been through far more trying times than we have, who have had to bend much deeper for much longer. Those are the ones who I stand and applaud. The Great One applauds too.

It's been a wild 18 weeks. Windy as all get out. How great to have friends like you in the storm! Thank you. Thank you.

When you feel the wind, grab His hand and bend!

Your friend on the pilgrim road,



Tom S said...

I'm sure Steve will ** WOW ** them at his new office!!

Anonymous said...

Truly a red letter day with Steve starting his time at the office. We at the Barker house are so thrilled for you and awed at God and His faithfulness and power. Yes, a new normal - one to celebrate and do cart wheels over (I'm trying to picture that now)! I'm sure the joy of seeing him walk out of the door, get in the car and drive to work for the first time in a very long time will far outweight the 'gee, I have to get used to this' moments.

I just started reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" for the very first time yesterday. It's Abbey's favorite book of all time, and she's been asking me to read it forever. Only in chapter 4, and I'm thoroughly hooked. I'm sure Hannah had more than her choice of interesting dialog from that gem to include in her piece.

I think it's time for a venti water at Starbucks. I'll call you this week - maybe we can sneak out on Friday...


D Bell said...

Awesome Steve,
They are lucky to have you.

Anonymous said...

Keep holding onto those promises from God.

God always does what He says He will do.

When He speaks, the whole universe listens and things begin to move and change.

Once He says something, it has to happen - it has no other choice.

I think He has it much easier when it comes to rocks, trees, light, and all those things in nature.

Humans are a different story. There's usually some waiting time, believing time, questioning time, hoping time, can't-wait-until-it's-here time, did-I-hear-right time, was-it-really-God time, was-it-just-my-imagination time, yes-it-was-God time, believing time, and then SUDDENLY ... !!!!!!!

We love you.

Lorraine & Ernie