Update 4/26/10 Day 168

Dear friends,

I am astonished that you still want to read my daily scribbles as we progress along the pilgrim road! We're closing in on the six month mark, and lots of what I write about are the mundane details of a family rebuilding after a storm. Still I run across people almost daily who continue to encourage me to keep writing, and to make my goal of the final post on November 8, 2010. In between doing laundry and getting the car washed, we do have moments of triumph, drama, and interesting pit stops along the way. But for the most part, I'm sharing the daily stuff of living with you, and it has been healing in ways I can't adequately describe. Perhaps that's why God seems to be directing me to stick with it until day 365. Even if not a soul reads these words, somehow they are working for good. So I travel onward, delighted that as I turn every corner I see the smiling faces of my bloggie friends. How surprising! How great is God, to not only lead me on, but to send so many to help carry the bags. I hope I have helped carry yours too.

I asked Stephen today if he wished he could have his old body back. He looked at me oddly as if to say (because he would never really say it), " duh, woman, what do you think?" He hobbled up the stairs with his cane and said simply "Yes". What was I looking for him to say? That it's ok, that I don't have to feel bad about his broken body because he's accepted it? That losing function isn't grueling? That going from striding to limping is just fine? I think I asked him because my experience on this road and his are different. Being the wife and mom has its challenges, but my machine is in one piece. I want to know what I can't really know: what is it like for him, really, in a body that simply doesn't do what it used to? Especially being of his particular gender, where strength and function are all tied in with a sense of who one is. In the end, I can't really climb inside his head and understand. But the Great One "knows when he sits and when he rises, He perceives his thoughts from afar". Ultimately, we don't even really understand ourselves, and all the psychology in the world can't plumb the depths of a soul like the One and Only. This I do know; Stephen has taken his halting steps without complaining and with remarkable grace. I'm proud of him.

Seems the Dynasplint has increased Smitty's flexion by a few degrees. And we can't discount the role of Sweet Sandy, "the pitbull", who tries to make Stephen believe he's Gumby with the way she works that limb. But always with a smile, always with a smile... Unfortunately his extension (straightening his arm) has not seen any improvement so far. He's got a few more weeks with the Dynasplint, and of course Sandy won't quit, but how bout a prayer or two for a little more? And the shoulder needs motion too. He loves fishing, and casting will be impossible without some grease in the hinge. Perhaps he needs an oil can like the tin man in "The Wizard of Oz". If only that would work, I'd be willing to dance around like the scarecrow singing "If I only had a Brain"...

Don't forget to keep praying for Miss Rejoice, whose struggles are much more subtle and who has teenagehood on top of it all. She's brilliant, but she's been through the war. More than anything, I need to trust the Great One to bring her through. I know she's the apple of His eye.
So are you, by the way. Otherwise, why would He risk loving so many who wouldn't love Him back? But we'll do anything for true love. Anything. And so would He.

Time for a little leftover cake from Grandma Smith's 80th. Later on, we've got a date with Jack Bauer, who I think is going to be spitting mad over the recent developments with terrorists and bad guys. Only a few episodes left. But rumor has it there's going to be a movie...

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann