Sunday, April 18, 2010

Update 4/18/10 22 weeks since crash

Dear friends,

The problem with keeping a public diary is that you are then forced to actually live your life the way you say you want to, or be completely exposed as a hypocrite. I am put to the test with this on a regular basis, and this evening in my office at the hospital, I again bumped up against the me I wish nobody knew. I think the places we work are the most fertile ground for grinding the nasty edges off of our persons. I had a little chat with a young lady who works on one of the surgical floors at Albany Med (ever in my heart as the world’s best hospital), who insisted she had told me something that I longed to insist she hadn’t. It was absolutely no big deal. But in my heart the “I’m right” worm came crawling out, making its way to my vocal cords and showing up in my attitude. In the middle of it I heard that quiet voice of the Great One (He could shout but He mostly whispers), “Let it go. You don’t have to be right.” Amazing how hard it was, even with this tiny matter, for me to simply say “OK, no problem”. I managed to choke it out, but when I hung up the phone I recognized again my every-moment need for the relentlessly good Spirit of the Living God. The big earthquakes of our lives (catastrophic car accidents, for example), certainly shape who we become. But the little frustrations, annoyances and bugaboos of daily life do their job too, like the ocean smoothing away the shore slowly, as opposed to when the hurricane comes in and takes out the whole parking lot.

The accident was 22 weeks ago. In a couple of weeks, the sentencing will be in the rear view mirror and another boulder will be rolled aside on the pilgrim road. But the day to day will always be with us. All of us. You have your troubles and I have mine. I’m no font of wisdom, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that there are choices to be made every day about what we are going to become. We’re becoming it minute by minute, decision by decision, or as the scripture says “line upon line, precept upon precept…” This is one of the reasons I’m so very proud of my Hercules. He decides each day to deal with the hardship he’s got, without a fuss, and by the grace of God. Now, don’t worry, he’s not perfect! Oh boy, is he not perfect. (Sorry honey!) But he is one who perseveres, and he is one who laughs a lot, and he is one who is willing to say “I’m sorry”. And most important of all, he is one who trusts the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive all his sins and give him everything he needs to “live and move and have his being”. Stephen is always well aware of those far worse off than him. The man, he walks funny, but he lives straight up.

Concerning those far worse off, if I might use this forum for a minute to let you know about some kind of sweet opportunity to help some poor, I mean really poor folks far away in sub-Saharan Africa. Our friends the Guilzons are here in the states for a while, but half their hearts are over there in Tanzania where they are building a medical clinic for the people of the Rukwa Valley, who have no other place to go for help. This is close to my heart, especially given the first rate American medical care Steve and Hannah have received in the past 5 plus months. Mark is a Physician's Assistant who has let go of all the comforts of the West, as have his beautiful wife and incredibly cool 4 kids, to cheerfully care for “the least of these” and to bring them God’s love wrapped up in a very practical package. Delmar Full Gospel is having 2 dessert nights on May 6 and 7, to let folks know about what Mercy Medical does. No arm twisting for money. These are just not those kind of people. DFG is just not that kind of church. But if you'd like to come, I’d love to see you there. And if you'd like to give money, by all means do so. Giving knocks the selfishness out of us like nobody’s business. Mine is always needing a one-two punch.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,


Thanks for the prayers for young Danny. Turns out he had a miserable case of Salmonella, and he'll be out of hospital soon. Go get em', Danny boy!

1 comment:

Mary Louise said...

Dearest Loriann,
Thanks for showing us the good, the bad, and the ugly. Boy can we relate! It amazes me that after all these years of following the One who is love perfected, I still fail to love. I guess the good news is that I can see progress and the spirit rules the flesh more and more, but I just wish it would give itself up for good!