Sunday, January 17, 2010

Update 1/17/10 Day 70

Dear friends,

It has been 9 weeks since my husband and daughter were hit head on by a drunk driver. The past nine weeks have forever changed my life, and indeed my perspective on it. To be completely honest, I still feel rather bowled over and not quite balanced yet. Perhaps it seems to you like I ought to be more stable at this point. Nine weeks is a long time. But the truth is, I'm still staggering a bit, still a bit foggy, a bit out of sorts. Nothing compared to November 8th, or the weeks following. But kind of like the days after the flu first hits. You're not rolling in the bed with fever and throwing up every few hours, but you just aren't yourself yet. I'm not sure why, but that's the way it seems.

I think today the hardest part is seeing Hannah's struggles. Tomorrow it may be something else, but that's the hurdle right now. She had some trouble organizing while we played "Balderdash" with Steve's family this afternoon. Before the accident she would have whizzed through that kind of thing. So there it is again, a loss, but I refuse to lose heart. The Great Book says "...We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." ~Romans 5:3-5. One of my dear friends is battling MS, and I told her today in church that we are going to dig in our heels and hold on to hope. We will not be disappointed. Whatever your giant is, my dear cyber friends, do not let go of hope. Besides the fact that God will show us His love and might through it, we'll gain perseverance and character. The Great One is, well, Great.

Our Virginia Smith's went home today. Stephen's mom is so incredibly happy to see his progress. I'm posting this picture of them together. I know how she feels. My baby survived this catastrophe too. Even with Hannah's uphill climb, she is doing amazingly well for early TBI recovery. "Hope will not disappoint...".

The word of God and the walk of faith walk hand in hand. Somehow my theology must match my life. Sorry to say there are times they don't. Times when I don't walk out what I believe. It's then I'm most grateful for a forgiving Savior, and for the hope of eternal life where we will zip off this sinful flesh and fight with it no more. Stressful times only show us more accurately who we truly are on the inside. I think C.S. Lewis put it well in this quote about how theology works with life here on the ground: "You will not get anywhere by looking at maps without going to sea. Nor will you be very safe if you go to sea without a map." We've got to do the thing and believe the thing. Thank God He does the thing with us - and gave us the Book as a map.

Watched a little of "Bringing Up Baby" with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn this afternoon. If you're looking for the definition of screwball comedy, this is it. I'm telling you, you'll laugh til you cry. I wish Cary was still alive so I could tell him how much delight he's given me these past few weeks. If you don't watch movies because they are black and white, you are missing so much. And believe me, Cary Grant doesn't need the full spectrum to look good.

Remember, this is national fixator removal week. Put it on your calendars, and celebrate with us on Thursday. We'll keep you posted on the time of surgery. The man will also have the glass removed from his hand at the same time, and Dr. Bagchi is going to try to "adjust" Stephen's knee while he is under anesthesia to get it in a little better position. Risks: rebreaking of bone. Now, we don't want that, do we?

I think I'm about the most favored woman in the universe with a circle of friends like all of you. Pray that my talk and my walk match up every day. I want to hear Him say "well done". Only by His grace is it possible for any of us. Hang on to hope, my fellow travellers!

Your friend on the pilgrim road (a road on a map!),



Bubba said...

Great to see Steves Mom by his side.
Hang in there my friend. You are blessed with much support.


Tom Smith said...

Great pic!
BTW Steve, time to shave ;-)

Stephen said...

Everybody should be happy to know that I did indeed shave this morning!