Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Update 11/18

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it..."  Today is a dark day for me.  I had to leave my baby girl at Sunnyview overnite after spending the last 10 days sleeping in her room.  I simply could not go on physically.  The exaustion has almost overwhelmed me, and I was mercifully scooped into Dale and Kim Walker's van and brought to their home to sleep.  It is an agony to leave Hannah, but my body is completely spent.  Please pray for peace for my soul in this awful choice.  My heart is broken for my boys, who are being wonderfully cared for by my dear friends, but not near me.  I long for the day we will all be together again.

If I were not sad and tired I would probably be able to see more of the good things happening.  Stephen was being transferred out of SICU to a surgical step down unit (E401).  He is extubated and talking.  He cracked a joke with the nurse today according to his brother John.  All of a sudden he lifted his oxygen mask and asked her "How do you cook a crocodile?  In a crock pot!"  Now his jokes are usually much better than that.  That's the Fentanyl talking.  Still, a joke is a joke, and that's Steve all the way!

Hannah made it down the elevator and into the ambulance to Sunnyview today without a meltdown despite her major problem with claustrophobia.  She is very restless or very sleepy most of the time.  Please pray she would stop picking her scabs and would pass quickly through this stage of emergence. I confess my fear of the unknown in her case, and ask for you to pray for faith for me to believe for her total restoration.  

David came to see Hannah today.  He was upset to see his sister banged up, but I know his precious heart is so tender and God will turn his sorrow into perserverance and character.  Joseph stayed home from school today just to get some sleep in his own bed.  Please pray for my beloved sons, who are bravely dealing with all of this.  

Corrie Ten Boom's father told her once "You don't get the ticket until you get on the train."  I feel the truth of that as I go through each minute, getting just enough strength to go to the next minute.  Soon I will sleep, under Derek Walker's dinosaur sheets with my sneakers next to his size 17 shoes.  He is away on a school trip, and I will grab enough energy to go through tomorrow.  

I love you all so very much.  I know you share my sorrow.  I'll never give up on God, because HE won't let me, and neither will you.

Your friend on the steep pilgrim highway,

Loriann

11 comments:

what'sthedeal said...

Thank you for your candor and wit. You cause us to laugh and cry! = all good. We are with you and want to be any way that we can. Father is with Hannah knowing your absence and you couldn't have better coverage! Dark days make room for the bright ones. We love you, Danny and Lee

Anonymous said...

Loriann,
Just wanted to tell you that we are covering Hannah with our prayers tonight. I know how difficult it is to leave a child in the hospital. I will pray through the night for her protection and peace. You beloved need to sleep and I will also pray for you for a refreshing sleep and that God will fill you with His "peace that passes all understanding" that I told you about at the last cell life. I love you so much my dear friend and know that I will be here if you need to talk, cry, or just be held. Connie

Anonymous said...

Well, Its good that Mr.smith has been moved and is cracking jokes, thats a sure step towards recovery.
And with Hannah, Its great she is at Sunnyview now she is recovering quickly! My thoughts and prayers go ou to all of you especially during this trying time

Greg Mager

The Zegers said...

Praise God for the Walkers lovingly scooping you up. You so need the rest. I'm surprised at that point you didn't just curl up in one of those size 17 shoes and fall asleep. Our loving God will see you all through this one day at a time. The Lord woke me several times last night with the Smiths on my mind. God is asking us to pray even as we sleep. Those of us who love you do share your pain and sorrow. Tomorrow is a new day with new strengh through Christ Jesus. Hannah and Steve are in a good place getting great care. Hold on. We love You Jim & Phyllis

sarajofina said...

Gloryann!
We are praying for you. It is truly amazing what God has done in both Steve and Hannah in the past week and a half. We are believing in full recoveries for both!
I can't even imagine what you have been through, but I will be praying for continued grace/strength for you.
Love you guys!

Sarah, Peter, Cailyn & #2

Pamm said...

We are lifting each of you in prayer and your updates help to be able to pray for particular needs. Thank you for your faithfulness during this very difficult time - it is a wonderful example and encouragement to all those around you. He is your strength & shield-
Trusting in Him with you-The Kuhls Bruce, Pamm, Trevor, Heidi & Jamie

Michelle Schultz said...

Loriann you are such an inspiration! Even with all you have to deal with, you reach out to us and make us laugh and cry and you INSPIRE greater strength and servitude in all of us. I am in awe of you. Please know that the Schultzes are all praying for Steve and Hannah's complete recovery, and we constantly pray for you and Joseph and David, that you find the strength to get through each day until you are home together again.
Your friends in Christ,
Michelle, David, Steven, Caitlin and Emma Schultz

Robin Blaauboer said...

Loriann...My heart is just aching for you as you guys walk through this ...I am thinking of you often through-out my days and how life can change in an instant, and how, even when it seems dark, there is light every day..somehow, there is. 2 Cor 12:9...Pastor Dave gave me this scripture a long time ago when things were so bad w/ my kids...and I felt so powerless to change anything....'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness'. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. Hope to see you soon and sending love and good thoughts to all of you. Love, Robin Scheufler

Mary Louise said...

Loriann,
You have always been such an overcomer. What a huge new chapter God is writing in your book. Stephen and Hannah are also great in faith and I know He will be glorified as they walk through this valley. And oh, what a view there will be on the other side and what a party we will throw!!

ldegonza said...

Loriann,
Again, even thru your sorrows, you make me Smile and inspire me to be a better me. You give me strength and hope. Thru you God is brining unity among His people. We're drawing strength from one another. I've always been your friend on the pilgrim road and I'll be your friend on the steep pilgrim highway as well! Whatever the minutes, hours and days ahead...don't be afraid because God is with you...He will strengthen you, and help you and support you with His victorious right hand. All my love, Laurie D

Tiffany Ann said...

My dear and precious Loriann,

You are such a witness of the grace and peace of Christ because it flows through you in this blog. Only God can enable someone to go through such trial with joy and perseverance--look around you, He IS enabling you! What a blessing in the midst of darkness. You are so in my thoughts and prayers. May the Lord draw each one of you closer to Himself during this time and may He purify and encourage You with His Fatherly love and faithfulness. Oh, how I love you guys....

Tiff