Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day 297 The Mixed Up Scrabble Letters

Dear friends,

I've always said the workplace and the home are the true testing grounds for character. So while I navigate the pilgrim road, I keep a wary eye on my behavior toward the people in my place of business and toward my husband and children. Today I fouled it up on both fronts.

I went to work with a good attitude. But as the pressure mounted, and people got under my skin, I felt justified in getting a bit snippy and snappy. After all, I (oh, that self absorbed 1 letter word) was doing my job right, while those I talked to on the phone were somehow not meeting my personal standards. Can you believe the crummy arrogance in that mindset? Good lord, looking back on it I am appalled. Disgusted. But not shocked to see all that stuff still in me, still needing to be crucified. The Great One, He's not shocked either. He knew what He was getting into when He took me as His own. I got a bit annoyed with my own flesh and blood today too. No excuses. Just the need to change. I have a feeling I'm not alone in this stretching to become a more charitable, kind, understanding human being. I know it's hopeless without the power of the Holy Spirit working in my fickle soul. I also know He's in the business of doing just that. And thankfully, as always, there is the sweet relief of repentance. I need that fountain every day. Sometimes it seems every minute of every day.

What a beautiful time I had this morning with my friend M.A., who made my song for the Dessert Nite really sound like music. I can hardly wait for all of you to hear it! It's kind of my song of gratitude to every soul that gave one minute of prayer, or put Steve's bones back together, or took care of my boys, etc..., etc... Of course there are no earthly words to fully get that message across, but I did my darndest, and M.A. gave the thing a ladder to stand on. God bless her! I'm hoping for a couple of other kick butt musicians I have in mind to round the song out. Anyway, come and let me thank you in person. It will be a greater joy to me than you can possibly know.

Interesting how our days are filled with so many varying stories. Mine today was about love, gratitude, music, arrogance, stubbornness, order and chaos. Sometimes you feel like you're the letters in the Scrabble bag, and you're all jumbled up. Then somehow, God makes words out of them that make sense and surprise you. (As an aside, Smitty is a fabulous Scrabble player. He beats me EVERY time. I should have played him when he had the concussion!) I refuse to get bogged down by the letters that still don't fit or the words that are less than spectacular. I know the one who created all of us is on our side. That, friends, is what keeps me from despair.

His mercies are new every morning. I have another chance tomorrow to live more lovingly and generously. So do you, my sweet highway companions.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Some days when I read your words the message really hits home and today was one of those days... I thank you!