Friday, June 18, 2010

Day 221 Rocking and Rolling on the Pilgrim Road

Dear friends,
The weather faeries seem to be in one fine mood today. Eighty something degrees, wall to wall sunshine, and a reasonable dew point. Can you stand it? I remember the days of helping Hercules hop through the slush and piling the wheelchair with its wet wheels into the van. Now the man walks, the driveway is hot and dry, and the wheelchair is history. One thing is for certain on the pilgrim road: change.

Thank you to so many for your kind words to my husband regarding his commencement message at Our Savior's School last night. I'm telling you, I was so proud of the man I could have burst! Humble as usual, funny as always, touching and deeply thoughtful which he is, but not as obviously in the every day. Even I was surprised by the depth of understanding and gratitude he communicated. So many of the folks in that room stepped into our darkness, and I believe it moved them to step into the light with us as well.

The hurdles we still face (some we may contend with for the rest of our mortal lives) are embroidered with grace. I cried alot yesterday. For some reason the whole thing with Hannah's teeth was really bothering me. Usually I'm ok, I've accepted it, but every now and then some switch goes off and there is sorrow. Mixed with overwhelming gratitude. Our electrician and friend Frank C. lost his 18 year old son this week after a 4 year battle with leukemia. Marvelous Mary Louise sent us an email about a young man suffering from complete brain death post car accident. I wept over these things, wept with a baffled feeling of being about 2 inches tall. So small we are, so very little in the vast mosaic of the Universe. Why must these people suffer such horrific loss? I don't know. I only know that far worse than loss is death without hope. And though the Great One doesn't often give us the answers to these big questions, He generously offers His presence and love in all circumstances. Yes, we are small. But we are not alone.

Joseph Stephen Smith (AKA Joe), my firstborn baby boy, played with his band tonight at the Nervosity concert in Tawasentha Park. What is it, when our kids put themselves out there, we suffer more than they do? I was on pins and needles waiting for them to start, through my boy's original songs, and on through the technical difficulties. They did a great job, and I was simply amazed that kids 16 years old have the gumption to stand in front of an audience of their peers and do the rock thing. It's not my kind of music, but I don't care. That's my kid up there. My heart is attached like crazy glue to whatever means something to him. I believe the Great One feels that way about us. He says "I have engraved you in the palm of my hand...I have called you by are mine". No power in the Universe can compare to the love of a parent for a child. Except the Love of The Parent for His children. Kind of boggles the mind. I put a couple of photos of my rock star up for you to see. If God had a blog, He'd put your picture up there too!

Time for a great old Preston Sturges movie tonite, "Hail the Conquering Hero". This one never gets old, and it takes my mind off of leukemia, and brain death, and 15 year old's without permanent teeth... Lord knows I'd give her mine if I could.

So good, so beautiful, so sad, so difficult, so short. I may kick at the dirt on this road, but I wouldn't trade it for a million. So thankful to have you in my rag tag band ... You are all rock stars to me!

Your friend on the pilgrim road,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I missed Thursday's post... Stephen, it was wonderful. So real and from the heart, Thank you.