Friday, February 12, 2010

Update 2/12/10 Day 96

Dear friends,

The great Cosette is stretched out at the end of the bed. She is the picture of relaxation. Not a care in the world. Scratch behind her ears, give her a treat, keep the dish full and she's lovin' life. As they say in the old Disney picture "Everybody wants to be a cat, cuz' a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's at...". We people, however, are not meant to spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure. You sometimes see the shipwrecked folks who went that route, and found out how meaningless it all is. We need a purpose, and thankfully the Great One figured that in to the plan. He summed it up in a "big picture" way when He said "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and mind and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." Everyone's way of playing that out will look a little different, but in that paradigm lies the key to meaning and fulfillment. Vacations are an important part of life, but were never meant to be life. One of those sounds really nice right about now...But I digress.

Your love and prayers this week were the critical mass that kept me from going over the cliff. It is some wild thing that my cousins in Massachusetts, and my never-met-her friend Laureen in Jefferson (aka Podunk) NY, and my DFG friends all over the map, and the rest of you amazing blog buddies towed me up the mountain, and we weren't with within 2 feet of each other. Prayer is some kind of powerful, mysterious thing, but also as practical as a big old water bottle on a hot summer day. (Do you think I'm thinking about a warm weather vacation in the recesses of my mind?) Speaking of bloggers, the comments and emails I have received in the last 5 days or so have me completely undone. First of all, I wish I could take all of you home with me and light a fire and drink hot chocolate. I would listen to all your stories, all your hopes and dreams, and all your agonies. The words you have written to me have been medicine for my soul. Kim and Rosebud who commented yesterday, I love you so, but you give me way too much credit. Believe me, I'm not trying to do the false modesty thing. But if you could hang out at my house for a day you would see me tripping up and being downright dopey at times. I am grateful if anyone is helped by my telling the truth, which is that the Great One has my back. He's got yours too.

Tomorrow evening it's pizza with the great Dan Lane and his family. And we are getting an unexpected visit from our dear old friend Brooklyn Hugh while his family skis at Windham. Hugh brings all things merry when he walks in the room. Don't you love folks like that? That's what you are to me, and I mean it. Just knowing you are reading and pulling for us is light in a cave. The Great One has brought so many to our aid it's completely stunning. No trial can match wits with God. He's a master at help along the way while we persevere.

At the Smith cinemaplex tonite we saw a wonderful, inspiring movie - Rudy. Talk about perseverance! I loved 2 quotes from the picture:

"We pray in our time. God answers in his."

"I've learned 2 things: There is a God. And I'm not Him."

I knew these things before our lives were inverted on November 8. But I really know them, to the guts, now. I know this too: that God in His great, wild, ocean deep mercy will allow adversity to do its work so we can get to the purpose thing. He's too good to let us wallow and drown with a life of ease. He's got people for us to love, meaningful work for us to do, and good news for us to deliver. We're not cats, after all. But a few weeks a year...

You are all my Rudy's. (Watch the movie, you'll know what I mean).

Your friend on the pilgrim road,



Patricia said...

Hi, LoriAnn,
I just read the last couple of days' blogs. I'm so sorry you had such a down day a couple of days ago, but I am so glad you share that with us as well as your many joys. I can't believe it took this long for the grief to really hit! I kind of take that as a good sign because you have been so consumed with the routine and struggles of what has happened, you probably haven't had time to drop your shoulders and let go. Now, things are much more obviously on the road to recovery--Stephen is standing, even starting to walk again, Hannah is joining in activities at school and starting music lessons, etc. Things are more clearly getting to be normal and it probably makes it more obvious how different your 'normal' will be from before Nov. 8. You are, I'm guessing, grieving the loss of day to day life as you knew it. I know I told you of the heartache we have been enduring the last year and a half or so with my brother, and will continue to live with for the rest of our lives. I have cried a river of tears, believe me!! (I still add to the river on occasion!!) I have argued with (one-sidedly, so I guess I've really just yelled at) God for what He has asked us to go through for whatever purposes He has. I don't know if I will ever know what they are!! I read your blogs and long for the unwavering trust and faith in His love and comfort that you demonstrate time and time again. I suppose I know in my heart of hearts that He is there still loving me and helping me as much as I will let Him, but I haven't been able to let go of being mad at Him for not finding some other less hurtful way to achieve His purposes. We all struggle with what God asks of us...even Jesus Himself with the agony in the garden before His death. Why should we expect less grief in our lives than God's own Son experienced---being betrayed by one of His best friends, seeing the people He loved die, etc. I suppose the important thing is to let the grief be a part of our lives, but not rule them!! And I have always believed tears are very cleansing!! Sorry to have gone on like this....I think sharing my thoughts with you helps clarify within me, my own emotions! I will continue to pray for all of you. If you could send a little nudge to God to continue to help me with what we are dealing with, I'd appreciate it!!
Patti S.

johandav said...

Precious Patti,

I will pray for sure! But you know, the Great One needs no nudging, because He feels your pain acutely. So many things we can't figure out in "this present darkness", but we are assured He's got it well in hand. Thank you for sharing your sorrows and your joys too!

Your friend on the pilgrim road,