Sunday, July 11, 2010

Day 244 The Pediatric Floor at Albany Med

Dear friends,

“Those things that hurt, instruct.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Today Pastor Dave the Humble talked to us about transformation. I think it’s something we all want – to see changes in ourselves where long held wrong ideas or wrong turnings have robbed us of some peace and freedom. In truth, the more we are transformed by the Great One, the more good we’ve got to pay forward to somebody else. But like PD said, “It’s gonna cost you…”

Sometimes we reach for transformation and sometimes it is thrust upon us. Difficult, painful circumstances often do a yeoman’s job of changing a soul. I’ve got miles to go in the need-for-changing department, but I can tell you for certain I’m not the same woman I was 8 months ago. Perhaps my perspective couldn’t have been changed any other way. I’ve told you before my theology doesn’t say God “did this to us”. But in His sovereignty He can certainly take the disasters of a fallen world and use them for good. In fact, The Book says that very thing: “He causes all things to work together for good to those that love Him.”

This evening I walked upstairs to the 7th floor at Albany Med. Many, many of you have been there. Many of you hung out long hours there just to be available to help, just to pray for Stephen and Hannah. I saw the painting of the rabbit on the wall near C7, and the Ronald McDonald room, and that bench outside the elevators where Tommy F. jr. took notes with his laptop for one of the first of these blogs before I was writing them. I was stunned by the emotions that rose up within me, and the pictures that ran through my mind like a movie. I wept uncontrollably right there in public, unable to push back what felt like the tears of a hundred years. It was shockingly present, all the sorrow, joy, love, fear...simply overwhelming. I'm not sure I can put into words my experience there tonite, or where in the world it came from. But it was powerful, and a reminder of the different person I am today from the one I was on November 7. The joy and the sorrow seemed to blend into one, like salt in the sea, stinging and refreshing at the same time. Transformed? Absolutely. Glad about it? Yes. Costly? Very.

I love you folks for a thousand reasons.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,


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