Thursday, October 7, 2010

Day 332 Hard Pressed But Not Crushed

Dear friends,

It was one of those days when you are blindsided by a problem, walloped and caught unawares, like being hit head on by a truck when you weren't expecting it. At least I responded instead of reacting. I went to my Adirondack room, cried out to the Great One for grace to find my way with this thing, and to have the wisdom to make the next right choice. Some troubles are so complex, and impact us in such a visceral way, that it's easy to react with panic or anger or withdrawal. And often times I have done that. But not today. Today I say "I am not ignorant of the enemy's devices", and I will not be controlled by something external, but by the Spirit of the Living God, who always promises to be enough for us in every need. I'm not saying I won't mess up the handling of this issue somewhere along the way, but I can only do one day at a time. And for today, I choose to trust and not fear.

Don't get the idea that I'm some spiritual giant here either. Just this morning I was flummoxed by how to dig my way through the scriptures, where to begin with the word of God. I got sidetracked, lost my focus, and never really got off the ground. But I refuse to make things worse with self condemnation and self loathing. Everywhere I turn - in the sermons of both pastors, in the books I'm reading, in things people are sharing with me, indeed in the very leaves on the trees - everything is about change. And the only way to truly change is to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds", and that is a process requiring great perseverance and grace. We've got to kick off the ankle weights (and at times the anvils) that we carry around. They're different for each one of us. Whatever they are, if they keep us weighed down on the pilgrim road, they've got to go. No one is saying it will be easy. Some things we've carried for so long, we hardly know what we look like without them. But the Great One is able to give us the power to put the blasted thing away for good.

I would really, really appreciate your prayers as I begin the uphill again on this matter before me. Smitty too. We have seen the great power of the combined requests of God's people when the road gets dark and steep. I can assure you I'm praying for you on your highway, even if I don't know all the details.

Don't forget to sign up for the Dessert Nite by October 14. I'm looking forward to seeing you all there! (See the sidebar for details).

Your friend on the pilgrim road,



Pam Letendre said...

Know that I continue to pray for you and the entire Smith family. I read your blog each day and thank you for keeping us informed through this past year. May Our Lord continue to bless each and every one of you with all you need to face each new day.
Much love and many prayers,

johandav said...

THank you, dear cousin, for the love across the miles. I know it's most likely impractical, but I would love for my Springfield clan to come to the Dessert nite.
No matter what, I thank you for your kindness throughout.