Update 5/7/10 Day 179

Dear friends,

There are days on the pilgrim road where you seem to hit every pot hole, run into a traveller in front of you and the rain makes mud that cause your feet to sink. Today was that kind of day. Listen, I'm not going to bellyache (too long) because we all have those days. Sometimes they are strung together to make a few in a row. Sometimes, they last weeks. Sometimes longer. Crummy circumstances are often the catalyst for the "wet blanket" that can descend on the soul, but not always. Sometimes there are simply gray, mirthless days that come from who knows where and who knows why. Some blah days are the result of our own folly or sin, and some are related to the complex chemical dance going on in these ingenious machines we drive our spirit around in while we live. These are the days where the Great One seems far off (He's not), and the enemy of our souls can lie like a rug to us (he does). In the end, a day is just a day. We can still make right choices when we feel lousy. We can still hope despite our troubled minds. I've quoted C.S. Lewis a thousand times, but this is definitely one of my favorites: "Sometimes you just have to tell your feelings where to get off". Amen, brother. The truth is the truth, regardless of how I feel on any given day. I'm not saying feelings don't matter. Good Lord, of course they do! But they belong downstairs in the servants quarters, not upstairs where the governor lives. The will. The choosing part of us.

On May 25 Stephen will be going in to Albany Med for his foot surgery. At the same time, Dr. Bagchi will manipulate his shoulder. We won't be going out dancing the next day, I can tell you that. I'm hoping after some of the hardware is out Smitty's foot will begin to approach a more normal size. I've got a new name for the Shrek foot: "Frankenfoot". Hah! It really does look that way. Poor Steve's body is so different, but thank God for the function he's got! Miracles have been our portion. I've got nothing to complain about...and yet I do....

Do any other parents of teens experience the following:

Mom: Joseph, don't forget your tennis clothes for your match.
Joseph: You already told me that mom...
(5 hours later....Ring, Ring....)
Joseph: Mom, I forgot my tennis uniform. Can you bring it over.
(small lecture)
Mom: Where is it?
Joseph: In my room, on the desk.

Mother does not find it on the desk, but in the dirty clothes pile in the laundry room.

Mom: This is the last time I'm doing this. You need to grow up.
Joseph: Click.

The child is a joy to my heart. But I am going to have to find a shed for him to live in for the next few years...

By the way, Smitty mowed the lawn for the first time this year. The dandelions were having a convention! He couldn't do the side of the little hill, so the aforementioned teenager will get that part tomorrow.

I'm all out of joint, and so is this post. But I'll keep writing because I choose to do so. The Great One says go, and I'm ok with what I lack. As long as I'm going where He leads, it's okay that I'm a mess. That's the way it is some days on this wacky pilgrim highway.

Hang on in the bad days, keep doing the next right thing. The story is still being written. And remember this: "Resist him (the dark one), standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1Peter 5:9

Your friend on the gnarly pilgrim road,

Loriann