Update 3/14/10 17 weeks since crash

Dear friends,

I managed to yell at all three of my kids today, proving that despite all I've learned, I have miles to go. I'm not saying kids don't need to be corrected, but yelling is definitely not the productive way to go. So I handed out a few apologies, but I have another one to go. I struggle with feeling doubly guilty about how I handle problems with my kids, because I know it hasn't been an easy road for them either these past 17 weeks. All three have been affected by the trauma of November 8. No doubt about it, we've had incredible grace and support through it all. But kids feel things deeply, only they express their feelings differently than adults do. To be perfectly honest, I haven't sorted it out yet. I'm not sure I ever will. Add adolescence into the mix, and the brightest bulb in the club (of which I'm not a member) might find theirself baffled. So once again I pick myself up from the mess, ask forgiveness, and move on. Real life is messy business.

David's school had their learning fair today. Stephen and David built a catapult for the medieval time period the sixth grade is studying. (All the kids built them - they were all different- and fantastic!) Father and son competed for who could hit the ping pong ball closest to Albert Einstein's head. My baby boy won. Of course, Stephen did have a cane, so I'm sure it would have been a tie...

Our guest speaker at church this morning made the point that focus on what matters, matters. Just what I blogged about yesterday. Not getting sidetracked by the inconsequential details of this temporary life. I knew I liked the guy when he quoted C.S. Lewis: (I paraphrase) "Aim for heaven, and you get earth thrown in. Aim for earth, and you get neither." Think about William Wilberforce. For years in English parliament he fought for the abolition of slavery. He would not be distracted. He would not be deterred. Precisely because he understood the great truth that man is made for more than 70 years on this fallen rock spinning through time. The value of human beings goes beyond what the culture they happen to be born in says they are worth. People have eternal value. Otherwise as the Apostle Paul so eloquently explained "If Christ is not risen....then eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die." But tomorrow we don't die. So let's attend to what it means to really live. Once again, I am convicted and by my own words. Sometimes it's best to throw a glass of cold water into your own face.

More therapy this week, more doctor appointments, and Stephen continues to work part time from home. I go back to work on March 28. It all seems so strange. We've been living this bizarre life for long enough now that it has become rather normal. As we get more normal it seems weird. Things change. And we change. But the Great One - how grateful I am that he never does. And when He corrects me, He never yells.

Dear friends, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And don't forget that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann