Update 12/29/09 Day 51

Dear friends,

Boy, do I need a haircut! Funny how you lose track of your personal grooming when there's an earthquake in your life. (One of my coworkers at Albany Med told me I smelled a whole lot nicer than I did in the hospital during those first few weeks. No shower for a few days will definitely mess with the hygiene!). Miss Clairol is also due to visit, and there is a razor somewhere in my future... I called Margo the magnificent to schedule a fluff and buff. How strange it felt to put that kind of appointment on my calendar. It seems really insignificant in the grand scheme. Still, it will no doubt make me feel a little lighter, and there's nothing like a little sit down with the hairdresser, especially a peach like Margo.

Hannah had her 3 hour neuro psych evaluation at Sunnyview today. She was anxious about it, but seemed a bit more relieved when Dr. Hess told her she could go back to school full time on January 4. He gave her 3 conditions: 1- She has to go to the nurses' office if she feels tired during the day to lie down for a bit. 2- She has to lie down for a rest when she gets home from school. 3- She can't do more than 2 hours of homework per night. Some of the deficits in her testing are in the areas of executive thinking. Those are things like organizing, evaluating concepts and seeing the "big picture". None of these things were difficult for her before the crash, but now they are. Still, we are only 7 weeks out on a typical 12-18 month recovery curve, so I maintain optimism having seen the Great One's incredible work in all of our lives. I do get angry sometimes about the unfairness of Hannah's hurdle, but I never met adversity that didn't make greatness possible. God has always had a plan for His little Miss Rejoice, and there's no way he'll let her hang out to dry. Not possible with the Mighty One. Somewhere on this broken road there's a blessing the darling girl cannot contain. Count on it.

Tomorrow we go back to Sunnyview to meet with Dr. Samaio about how to proceed with Hannah's care. She will need some therapy for the emotional trauma part of all of this, and that will cover the claustrophobia too. Keep up your prayers, all you fabulous Gen Churchers. I know you've been asking the Great One for a long time to help Hannah with her fear of confined spaces.

I've only just started to realize the emotional impact of this event on our family. You spend weeks in suspended animation, just breathing in and out, dealing with the physical stuff and the practical matters (eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth.) Then the acute phase passes and you see the lingering issues in your spouse, your kids...yourself. I simply don't know what I would do without the promise "I will never leave you nor forsake you". I don't know how to help the spirit within my daughter, or my husband or my boys. But the Book says: " He (Jesus), did not need mans testimony about a man, because He knew what was in every man..." The Great One knows what my dear ones need on the inside. I hope that encourages one of you. It doesn't matter if you're misunderstood, or if you don't even understand yourself. There is One who gets it with you. He totally gets it.

Tonite we are watching a Ma and Pa Kettle movie with David's favorite character actor, Percy Kilbride. (Show me another 12 year old who knows who Percy Kilbride is and I'll give you five bucks.) Gotta love Geoduck and Crowbar, the two Indian friends who Pa Kettle puts to work so he can kick back. This is not politically correct film viewing. But it's a hoot. I recommend the Kettles for a short trip away from terrorist threats and celebrity indiscretions and Ponzi schemes. Add a sleeve of oreos and a glass of milk and you're golden!

Tonite I spoke briefly to Officer Ernie, and earlier today I spoke to Detective Matt about getting the EZ Pass out of the wagon (not sure if it still exists, but he's checking). I was once again reminded of the first responders who saw Stephen and Hannah at their worst, and did the hard work of pulling them out of that twisted wreck, and taking care of the details of finding me and enforcing the law. Please lift up a prayer for these incredible people who keep us safe and save many of our dear ones from the sleep that never ends. I owe them a debt I can never pay.

Same goes for you. Each of you has been a lifeline for me in the land of the living. We coasted around the edges of valley of the shadow on November 8th, and you have stuck with me lo these 51 days. I can't tell you how many more days there will be. Even when it's all over, I will always remember these incredible weeks of my life. I will always carry a gratitude and affection in my heart for all of you who have walked the path with me. And I'll happily share my milk and cookies with you anytime!

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann