Update 12/18/09 Day 40

Dear friends,

I don't know if you have ever seen an "external fixator" before, but they are ugly. Pins go into the skin and attach to the bone to keep said bone from moving. (Moving is bad if you happen to be a broken bone). I will be doing "pin care" on Stephen when he gets home. I am so glad the Lord didn't put me together with a squeamish bent. I'll also be dressing his skin grafted wound and wrapping both legs, his right foot, and his broken arm. I'll be training to do all that this week.

It's construction city at my house. Tom Terrific has made my bathroom and bedroom doors wide and accessible for Steve. Tomorrow, Mark the Lion Hearted has a crew of able friends coming to build me a ramp that I can push Smitty up on. I feel terrible that it's so cold and they will be working in my breezeway! I'll just keep the hot chocolate coming, and heaven knows I have lots of delicious leftovers for lunch. I really marvel at people who can build things. I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to widen a door. Lately, I can barely figure out how to open one! I'm not only amazed by the skill, but the kindness of the folks doing all of this work for our family. Isn't it fantastic that Jesus said "whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers, you do it for ME." And to Abraham God said "I will bless those who bless you." I am on the receiving end here, but I know the joy of being on the other side. It is more blessed to give than to receive, and I am humbled to my marrow by all of it.

I nearly lost it coming home from Sunnyview tonite with Hannah and David in the car. The modern Christmas classic "Mary Did You Know" came on the radio. Here's what got me to where I thought I might drive off the road: "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again. The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of The Lamb..." I feel like I've experienced a resurrection in my own little world. My lame one will leap, by the grace of the One who loves every one of us relentlessly and recklessly. He may "leap with a limp", but leap he will. If anyone was acquainted with the trouble and sorrow of life, it was Jesus. And if anyone knew how to overcome and have joy in the midst of pain, it was Him. And if anyone knows the heartache in us, it's Him. And if anyone has the remedy for our weary souls, it's Him. It's not a religion, it's a relationship. Hallelujah!

Stephen is struggling with a tough emotional issue right now. He feels badly that I have to carry a lot of the ball while we climb this trail. The fact that I'll be taking on his personal care and wound care is weighing on him. The truth of it is this: For 21 years that man has treated me like a queen. He has done everything for me, from laundry to bill paying to making my coffee in the morning. He has served me cheerfully and impressively since I have known him. He never complains, he works hard, he loves his family, and he has never, ever been a hypocrite. He is a biblical model of "loving his wife as Christ loves the church". He has laid his life down for me over and over a thousand times. I could never come close in a hundred years to doing for him all he has done for me. It is an honor and a privelige to "take care of him" for a while. I told him not to worry. When he's all better, I will be happy to be pampered once again. God bless that precious companion of mine!

My emotions are a whirlwind, but my soul is settled and firm. I am truly a blessed woman, with more to be grateful for than anyone I know. I get sad, I get mad, I get glad. All emotions, all great servants, none of them my governor. I leave the governing to the only One who can do it right. How I love that Savior of mine!

As for you, you've been "like a bridge over troubled water" for me. Some of you have seen me at my absolute worst, and loved me through it. All of you have been true friends in a time of need. I'm praying you will see your lame leap, and your blind see, and your mountain conquered. I mean it.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann