Update 12/16/09 Day 38

Dear friends,

All she wanted for Christmas were her 4 front teeth, and she got them! Hannah's new choppers are straight and match nicely with her real teeth. Both of us were kind of lamenting the fact that she doesn't have her own teeth, and these look "different" from hers. Still, how thankful we are to live in a time when such things are even possible. I told my baby girl that if I could, I would gladly have my own teeth knocked out if it meant she could have her permanents. But such a thing isn't possible. Some things change, and they can't change back. It's simply not fair. We grieve, we go through our emotions, and God moves us on again, back up the mountain. (It doesn't always happen quickly, though). I've heard it said, "we should try to protect our children from danger, but not from adversity". Adversity makes us strong. But it hurts in the making.

Tomorrow the therapists come to my house. Stephen comes too, for a "dry run" to see what accommodations we need to make for him. As I said before, things are already in gear - ramps being planned, doors being widened, and furniture already moved. Looks like I will be the main nurse, cleaning wounds, wrapping legs, etc... Next week I will spend an entire day at Sunnyview training for the task ahead. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13.
I have never wanted to be a nurse, but, like greatness, "some are born nurses, some achieve nursing, and some have nursing thrust upon them". I fall into that last category. I would walk over glass or eat a soft boiled egg to get the man home. So wrap I will, with bells on.

Darling Tracy and Christina One-of-a-Kind came to visit Stephen tonite to play Euchre, one of his favorite card games. Any of you from the mid west would know the game. Brother John was up today too, with his sense of humor that doesn't quit, and his homemade ice cream that truly defies description. In the face of any trial, there's always ice cream.

The just and hard working assistant district attorneys visited Steve and I in the hospital tonite too. There's that whole other aspect to this terrible accident that is just beginning to press itself harder on my consciousness since the trauma occurred. The ADA's explained to us how this all works, legally speaking. How sad the whole thing is. In the end, nobody wins. So many lives turned upside down. I felt like I have before: like I wished with all my being that I could turn back the clock, and have them turn down a different road, and have the driver stay home, and so on and so on. In a fallen world, there are things that happen, that can't unhappen. Only the Great One can give them meaning and purpose. Only He can make "the crooked straight and the rough places plain."

It seems God doesn't always protect His children from adversity either. But it's never to harm them, only to make them strong in what really matters. Love. Kindness. Truth. Justice. I have a much more profound compassion for suffering people than I had before the accident. No credit to me, it's just what happens. And my suffering has been short lived compared to my dear friends walking the pilgrim road with disabled children, or children who have died, or broken marriages, or chronic diseases, or endless need- the list could continue for miles. It's a wonder anything works down here. When it does, we see a glimpse of reality. Someday, we'll understand that we are "spiritual beings having a physical experience." In the meantime we inhabit a strange land where bones are broken and hearts are too. But God sees to it we get plenty of glorious sunsets, and laughing babies, and... ice cream. Great is His mercy.

I want to close with the lyrics from the first few verses of a song from my high school musical, Anything Goes. If you can find the actual song on youtube, look it up. It's very clever and lots of fun, and I often think of it when I think of all of you. The song is by Cole Porter (fabulous!), and it's called "You're the Top":

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest, To let 'em rest unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading, As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty, At least it'll tell you How great you are.
You're the top! You're the Coliseum.
You're the top! You're the Louver Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss!
You're a Bendel bonnet, A Shakespeare's sonnet, You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile, You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You really are the top, my friends. I love you dearly.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann