Day 309 Live From Mohegan Sun, It's Fixator Man!

Dear friends,

Hercules, once confined to a bed wearing those attractive fixators (yes, at one point he actually had 2 of those horror shows), is this very day on an overnite business trip for his job. They are having a big pow wow at of all places, Mohegan Sun. My husband, the tee totalling, non gambling, non smoker is at a gambling resort! Of course they're in a big conference room all day. But he called me to tell me how far back the slot machines go. The description makes the place sound like the palace at Oz! Sounds like the food is very good, and they have an elliptical so he can do his morning workout, so he's happy enough. So it's a very long way from the SICU at Albany Med to business with the big boys (and girls). I remember looking at those long term disability papers, so glad we had that option. But we never used it. God really has been gracious to us in a thousand ways. Unfortunately now, because of Stephen's pre existing condition, long term disability is no longer an option for us. As usual, as always, we must trust God for our future. And it's no gamble to do so. He's not a cosmic slot machine, but a kind Father. Even in our weakness. Especially in our weakness.

I'm flying solo tonite, the first time I'm in my bed alone since those long days of November and December. When I go back and recall those times, it does sometimes seem like someone else's life I watched in a movie. I just remembered the many times I would watch the Jack Benny show to fall asleep, and later when Smitty was home, we would watch it on our little DVD player while I did his wound care. Was that really me? I guess so, because I still have some of the purple plastic gloves in the linen closet! I've said it before, when this blog is completed on November 8, 2010, it won't be like the crash never happened. I know it will always live inside me. I'm permanently changed. But there really is a sense of moving on, beyond trauma land, despite the stuff still unfinished and the stuff that stays forever. When I write the book, I wonder if it will seem like writing about another person's life, or if it will all come back to me in living color. I don't know. There's no doubt there will be other hills to climb on the pilgrim road. Good lord, I hope they aren't quite so steep as this one, but I don't have any guarantees. One day at a time, trusting the One and Only, no matter what. By His grace, it's possible.

Two quick requests:

If you have any personal stories you recall from this crazy experience, would you write them down? There were lots of things I missed because either I wasn't there, or I was mentally fried. I want to have as much stuff as possible to use in writing the book about this wild ride.

And would you track down anyone you know who doesn't use technology and you know helped us in some way, and sign them up for the Dessert Nite? That would be a huge help. I believe Pastor Dave the Humble is going to make sure the DFG folks all hear about it in church, but there are lots of non DFG folks out there too. I'm trying to reach as many hospital staff as I can, and the Fabulous Officer Ernie is working on reaching out to the first responders.

Sign up at smittythanks@gmail.com. Already the guest list is growing daily, and making me smile along the way. I really, really do love and appreciate you people. Not just words. If you walked a mile in my shoes, you would know exactly what I mean... You are simply the best. No hype.

Your friend on the pilgrim road,

Loriann